What are your recipes for disappointment?
Disappointments rarely happen by chance – they often stem from the way you see, think, feel, act, and are. By recognizing this, you can make more conscious choices and avoid repeating the same patterns. While not every disappointment can be prevented, how you handle them determines whether you stay stuck or grow.
Create Your Own List of ‘Recipes for Disappointment’
Choose a disappointment from the past year that you want to understand better. Describe how your perspective, thoughts, emotions, actions, and identity contributed to it.
Formulate your ‘recipe’ using this structure:
"I [present tense verb] …"
Examples:
- "I try to please everyone."
- "I avoid difficult conversations."
- "I dwell on negative thoughts."
- "I constantly compare myself to others."
- "I strive for perfection."
- "I look at the future with fear."
- "I believe I’m not good enough."
- "I put off important tasks."
- "I ignore feedback and suggestions from others."
- "I set unrealistic goals."
- "I am afraid to make decisions."
Repeat this exercise for multiple disappointments. Over time, you’ll become the "master of your own disaster."
In the next exercise, you’ll learn how to turn your recipes for disappointment into recipes for success.
Reflection Questions
The following questions can help you uncover why you experienced this disappointment.
Perspective & Focus (How you see things)
- Did I focus on obstacles or opportunities?
- Did I look at the future with fear or pessimism?
- Did I see the bigger picture, or was I stuck in details?
Mindset & Beliefs (How you think)
- What beliefs held me back?
- Did I focus on problems or solutions?
- Did I doubt myself too much?
Emotional Regulation (How you handle emotions)
- How did my emotions influence my actions?
- Did I manage stress and fear, or did they control me?
Actions & Habits (What you do)
- What actions (or lack of action) contributed to this disappointment?
- Did I procrastinate on important tasks?
Identity & Values (Who you are)
- What personal traits played a role in this disappointment?
